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How to Let the Children Learn to Solve Their Own Problems?

With the socio-economic development, people's living standards continue to improve, parents are increasingly concerned about the healthy growth of children, and through to life bit by bit. Over time, love children into a spoil of children, no matter what things, parents are helping to deal with, arranged, do not let the children have to worry about, so that the growth of the children is very unfavorable. Therefore, the parents put their hands properly, let the children learn to solve their own problems in order to enable them to grow.




Since there are two children in the home, the feelings between them are increased with the loss of time: every day playing together, happy together, noisy together, trouble together. And I rush with the passage of time, there is also a more profound experience: when the children between the small friction, as adults the best solution is - not as, believe that the child's wisdom, but also believe that children and students All the ability to distinguish between right and wrong, let the children themselves to find a way to deal with, to solve like.


Two children of the same age together, the probability of a dispute is particularly large. When the girl arrived at home when the two children play with the play will suddenly hear a child roar, another child to be outdone voice. After a while, in all likelihood will come over a child with tears began to "complain."


At the beginning I imagined the handling method is very simple: one to the girl first came to the guests, the second girl is a girl, so as the host and the boy's son, the appropriate let the girl is it.


But things are not as simple as I imagined. The previous few sons in my lobbying barely nodded agree or intimacy or do anything else to avoid the "battlefield." But one to two after a few times, when I smiled and told my son my reason, but aroused his son a greater emotional rebound, he blushed his face against me and the girl Aoao shouted: "Why do I want Let me? Why do I want to let her? Obviously she did wrong, why do you want to let her? "I have some difference in the son of the feedback, when the two of us get along, the son is really so Excitement and aggressive appearance.


I reached out and held my son in an attempt to let him calm my anger. Did not think of his son in my arms burst into tears, so we are so we rarely see. Mother and son to heart, I know he must be wronged to the extreme.


At this time I also thoroughly calm down, think of his son in the kindergarten when the school and the children had a small friction between, I basically are to take "no participation" mode, the son of their own to advance and retreat freely, stretching degree. I have been not in favor of parents to participate in the child's "war" which, the children have their own right and wrong view, they will solve their own problems. But if the parents once the "formal" intervention, adults deal with things between children will only be more complex will not be simple. And often between the children of small friction are some simple things only.


And then carefully want to come from the son of the recent performance of view, his usual sense of security seems to disappear a lot. The original I was dedicated to accompany him, and now suddenly in his world more than a girl, so he naturally think that they will be less a mother's love. This is the child's normal psychology, and I ignored!


I realized my mistake. In fact, between children, the more parents do not act, the child can make a difference. If the parents of the child happened, everything should control, everything wants to control, one to bind the child's hands and feet, the second did not participate in the child's "war", but for the child's right and wrong It is useless to deal with the child's true feelings.


Then I agreed with the children after the agreement reached a consensus: If there is any dispute between them, I have to let them solve their own. If it is to come to "complain", then the "complain" of people need to make clear the ins and outs of things, and then "defendant" people "incident" or "self-salvation", to defend their own defendant-like issues clear. In this time the other party can not speak to their own, only to wait for each other have heard each other's "wronged", ask them how the two should be resolved.


Often things to this point, the two children are almost able to shake hands and words. If the "war" to continue to upgrade, from the text into a fight, then the first hands of the person directly without any reason to accept the punishment like. Between children, either by virtue of wisdom, or by ability, hands are the most ineffective performance. Of course, for the children of the world at any time of the fighting, which parts of the body can not touch, which parts need to focus on self-protection, but also in advance to the children speak clearly.


After several runs, the two children have learned to solve the contradictions and disputes, and I occasionally sidelined and found that the two children eventually have a business, there are mold in the attempt to solve the problem, so Just fine.

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